That's one big fucking $15 million mozza ball

I missed most of the Jays' game yesterday, as I got home from work at around 9:30 ast. As soon as I got home, I immediately turned on the ball game and logged onto mlb.com. My eyes went wide as I saw the news, " Blue Jays release struggling Ryan; I just about shit a fucking brick. I then proceeded to dance around the apartment praising God, Jesus, Alla, the fucking devil; basically anyone who'd fucking listen—Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

So it cost them $15 million? Finally, money well spent I say. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when interim president and CEO Paul Beeston had to walk into the Rogers' executive offices and ask for the money:

Beeston: So yeah, I'm going to need some money.

Rogers: Did Jose Bautista kill another group of strippers again? Fuck—he really has to stop doing that.

Beeston: Well yeah, but we're just blaming that shit on Mulliniks now. But seriously, we're going to need $15 million and fast.

Rogers: ...

Beeston: Remember when we made BJ Ryan the highest paid reliever in the League? Yeah. Not working out so well for us. We'd really like to get him the fuck out of here.

Rogers: Cash or cheque?

$15 million to send Ryan packing, that's a fucking bargain at double the price. Christ, I'd lick the inside of his jockstrap too, if that's what it took.

Reading what the club management had to say about the release is goddamn priceless. They called him the "12th man on the pitching staff. Gaston also said that he had been considering using Ryan only in "blowout situations." No shit. Considering Hayhurst has been doing well and Downs's boo-boo on his big toe (read as yeast infection in his massive vagina) is now all better, what options did they have?

Best day ever.

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